So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
