so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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