someone owes me an orgasm
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
