My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
