we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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