Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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