I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
