she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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