when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
