Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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