The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
