im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
