Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
