Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize