Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize