This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
