Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
