Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize