Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
