If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
