I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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