It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
