I'm lost and stupid without you.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's never too late to be topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize