oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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