Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
