ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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