dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
