It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
