Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
