Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
