I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
