You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
