I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
