I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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