i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
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I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
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Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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