the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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