john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
