Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
