then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
