Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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