it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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