last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
