you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
