So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
