both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
