): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
