I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
