Have you finally orgasmed yet?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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