you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
where does the pee come out of this thing
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
