Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
