Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
