He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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