Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
