I've blown a few things in my day
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just high enough for therapy.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
