I don't usually arrange sex via text message
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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