he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
