Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So many bounce houses so little time
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
