Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
