I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
