direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Congratulations! We have a period
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
