If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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