Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
