He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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